Sexual swearwords: Get sexy with your Spanish!

Sexual Swearwords

Coño, carajo. These can express surprise, anger or simply be used to give emphasis. Literally they are the female and male (respectively) private parts. They're much more widely used metaphorically in a naughty rather than rude sense, nothing like their literal translation in English.
Example: ¡Coño, qué hambre tengo! [Very Familiar] Damn, I'm hungry! ¿Vienes de una vez, coño? [Very Familiar] For heaven's sake, are you coming or not?

¿Qué/cómo/dónde coño... ? [Very Familiar] What/how/where the hell... ?
Example: ¿Dónde coño están las llaves? [Very Familiar] Where the hell are the keys?

Un coñazo [Familiar] Lit. A giant vagina. A real pain (figuratively speaking).
Example: Este tío es un verdadero coñazo [Familiar] This guy is a real pain.

Joder (also pronounced joer) [Very Familiar] Literally it has the same meaning as "fuck," but it's more often used with its figurative meanings. It usually means to "screw" something or to be "screwed up".
Example: ¡Ya la han jodido! [Very Familiar] They've already screwed it up! Nos han jodido con tantos impuestos [Very Familiar] They've screwed us with so many taxes.

Joder on its own is used exactly like coño above, to indicate surprise, anger or admiration.
Example: ¡Joder, cómo llueve! [Very Familiar] Hell, it's pooring!

Jopé, jopelines, jolines, jolín [Familiar] These are a few euphemisms to replace joder. They're usually used by children or adults who want to avoid swearing.

Puta [Familiar] Short for prostituta. At times it's used in its proper sense, but more often as a very strong insult, especially if a family connection is made, in phrases that would translate as "son of a prostitute" or "your prostitute mother". However, it's actually more commonly resorted to as an adjective to express anger.

Puto/a (as an adjective and always in front of the noun).
Example: Tengo que ir al puto médico [Very Familiar] Lit. I have to go to the prostitute doctor. I have to go to the fucking doctor.

... de puta madre [Very Familiar] Lit. ... of prostitute mother. Although it may sound contradictory, this is a praising expression meaning "very good" or "excellent". It can be applied to people and things.
Tiene un coche de puta madre [Very Familiar] Lit. He has a car of prostitute mother. He has a fantastic car.
Warning! - do not confuse ... de puta madre with tu puta madre [Vulgar], which is an expression used as an insult, usually a rude reply to someone who's already insulted you.

Hijo/a de puta [Plain Rude] Lit. Son/daughter of a whore. Son of a bitch.
Depending on the context, tone and how well you get on with the person you're talking to it may or may not be used as an insult.

Huevos, cojones, pelotas [Very Familiar] Huevos literally means "eggs" and pelotas are "balls", but these words are also slang for "testicles" (cojones). The expressions with these words are endless and in many instances you can use either word. Following are a few useful expressions, but don't be surprised if you hear testicles mentioned in other contexts!
Example: Estar hasta los huevos/cojones de ... [Vulgar] Lit. To be up to the eggs/testicles with... To be fed up with... Estoy hasta los huevos/cojones de Arturo [Vulgar] I've had enough of Arturo.

Tener huevos/cojones [Very Familiar] Lit. To have eggs/testicles. To be brave.
Example: Para hacer eso hay que tener muchos huevos [Very Familiar] To do that you really need to have the balls.

¡Y un huevo/cojón! [Vulgar] Lit. And an egg/testicle! The meaning is similar to the English "Yeah, right!" or "No way!" but a bit ruder.
Example: ¡Y un cojón me voy a levantar yo a las 7 para ayudarle! [Vulgar] No way am I getting up at 7 to help him!

Por huevos/cojones [Vulgar] Lit. For eggs/testicles. It means a reason is not required for someone to do something.
Example: Tiene que venir a las 8 por huevos [Vulgar] Lit. S/he has to come at 8 for eggs. S/he has to come at 8 because s/he has to.

Costar un huevo [Very Familiar] Lit. To cost an egg. Used to indicate that something is very expensive.
Example: Este abrigo me costó un huevo [Very Familiar] This coat cost me a fortune.